The Moore Method

The Moore Method was developed from my personal work.  The Moore Method is not theoretical.  It contains a combination of much time and study with experience of difficult life lessons.  As one of my teachers liked to say it is “kitchen tested.”  It also means I am committed to The Moore Method as a means of doing personal work.

 

I have been a therapist for over 25 years and truly believe I am a good one.  I have helped many people work through a variety of issues and problems.  I thought my life was settled and I had committed myself to helping others. I had been sober and in recovery for 28 years.  I came from an abusive alcoholic childhood.  I was number 5 of 6 children of a very poor family.  I lost 2 children in my 20s.  I had 3 disaster marriages.  I had felony convictions.  I had been homeless and an IV junkie.  I got sober shortly after turning 30 years old.

 

With sobriety my life changed for the better in remarkable ways. I worked hard on my issues from growing up in an abusive alcoholic home.   I worked very hard on myself.  I went to AA.  I attended groups and went to conferences.  I was not only to survive but thrive. At 30 years of age, I went to college and got a master’s degree in Social Work Counseling.   I met my husband Steve during my 5th year of sobriety.   He was and is a very good man.   My life became good and steady. I really felt like I had gone through all the negative I was ever going to experience in my life. I helped Steve raise my step son and then when I was 16 years sober we adopted our daughter from Cambodia.  She was the joy of my life.   Suddenly the pain of losing my 2 children was gone.  My life was full and complete.

It all changed in 2014.  A series of personal crises ripped my world apart.  I felt completely alone and was consumed with a barrage of negative emotions:  anger, fear, resentment, confusion.   With each crisis, my mind created a story, complete with a firm belief and solid judgments.  For months, despite new information and hearing different perspectives, my mind kept repeating its original stories, making no changes to the initial beliefs or judgments.  It was like a recording stuck on “repeat.”  Looking back, I now see those original stories contained some truth related to the respective crisis but, for the most part, were created around past trauma.  I was not sure I was going to make it to the other side.  I felt completely alone and I blamed everyone else.   I thought I might die from broken heartedness.

By combining different  methods together, I found relief.  I also believe I found a way to help others.  Each method provided me a piece of my puzzle.    I slowly worked with melded and modified until I developed The Moore Method.  Today my marriage is stronger, more honest and real.   From the development of The Moore Method, it allowed me to go deeper within myself and discover parts of me that were still hidden (my shadow self).  The Moore Method has awakened me to see my life as a continuous journey.  I’m never 100% done with my thoughts, feelings and judgments.  However now, I have tools that help me confront and see clearly.  I am more gentle with myself, more loving by using The Moore Method.

I had been meditating but my practice became more profound.    With all facades removed I saw me, the true me. My life has changed in a deeper and richer way that I could not have imagine.  I feel more at home in my skin than I ever have in my life.  I know me better than I ever have in my life.  I know that I can walk through anything.  I do not believe that all my problems in life are over.  I believe I have a way to walk though and use my problems to meet and know Pam on a deeper and more real level with every problem that comes up.    I had done good work through all those years but there were parts of myself I kept hidden from myself…my shadow self that contained my insecurities, pains, dysfunctions and hidden assets.  Through this method I am able to know myself on a deeper, more vulnerable level.   I learned by using The Moore Method that much of the pain and anger I had was created through my thoughts.  I see the world and myself much gentler today.

I am no longer afraid to feel my feelings.  I can dance with more happiness and mourn with grief with the same touch, by using The Moore Method.

I learned that my thoughts and my feelings can change on a dime, depending on what I am listening to inside of myself.  If they could change so rapidly, were they the best method for making life decisions?  I was so confused.  Through all the practices I started learning I realized that I was not a rag doll that could be blown about based on what my mind was saying or I was feeling in that moment.  In the next moment it might be completely the opposite.  How could I be sure that both were the absolute truth in the moment?  I used methods from all of the professionals I mentioned earlier but it started getting confusing.  I had to put things together in a way that I could understand.   So I started figuring out what was the most helpful from everyone I studied.   The more I tried to reject and run away from it the louder the egoic mind became.  I needed to stop and just ask it some friendly questions.  I learned the main way the egoic mind gets me is through the shadow part of myself.  The parts of me that I have discarded.  My shame, my fears, my traumas and my undeveloped attributes all available to the egoic mind to twist and distort and use against me.  I had to learn to shine a light on my shadow and heal the shame that had a hold of me.  I always learned there was a true self (my spiritual self) that was there also.  The wise and knowing part of me.  I started questioning and inquiring into my mind and learned so much.  I also realized that something was missing.  It was the emotional part of me.  My thoughts were healing but not my spirit my feeling part.   Slowly this is how I developed The Moore Method.

I found so much relief for myself I wanted to share what I have learned with you.  The Moore Method was created to help individuals become more aware of background thoughts and stimulants that effect their behavior.  It includes 15 areas of inquiry that are intended to help guide a person to an understanding of how and why they react to certain stimuli.  It is designed so that with an individual’s fresh clarity will bring about needed behavior change.  Not only has my behavior changed but the way I view myself, you and the world has changed as well.

The Moore Method is designed to help you make friends with the ego and to shine a light on our shadow side.  The ego in the way it is used in this work is that part of us that wants to keep us separate from ourselves and others. The ego likes to point at others and say they make us feel/think/judge they are doing this to me.  It uses our shadow (unknown part of ourselves) to convince us we are a victim.  Once I feel like a victim, the ego wins. This is called projection.

So often we are told we are doing it wrong if we do not feel happy all the time.  With The Moore Method you can be present in your life no matter what is happening with you in the moment.  Pain is going to happen in life.  Suffering is optional.  Joy is also going to happen in life.  You can embrace all of life.

SAMSUNG CSC

SAMSUNG CSC

The 15 areas of inquiry are designed to provoke self-analysis and for them to be most effective, the participant needs to settle into an environment with little distraction and no time constraints.  This is a meditative practice not a test with right and wrong answers.  It is an inquiry both into our thoughts and feelings.

We will posting a copy of The Moore Method to our website in the coming days.