The quality of our relationships is equal to the quality of our lives. Love your neighbor. Love your enemy. Love God. How? We are born connected and dependent. We learn to be independent. Then, we yearn to be connected and to know we are loved. We have defended and protected ourselves for so many years we have lost direct access to our hearts; to know how to love in an unguarded way.
We keep waiting for the right circumstance or the right partner, the right moment to be vulnerable. We may go on waiting endlessly, missing the opportunity before us.
Improving my capacity to love means cultivating the ability to be emotionally present even when we feel exposed or vulnerable; learning to relinquish the many strategies we have employed to feel safe and in control. We can find the courage to love without guarantees or requirements. Through developing this capacity we discover as an abiding presence in the center of our heart. Adapted from Undefended Love by Jett Psaris, PhD and Marlena Lyons, PhD